Navigating the balance between pushing harder and giving ourselves grace is a journey marked by twists and turns, victories and setbacks. For me, this journey began in the world of engineering—a path I felt compelled to follow due to external pressures rather than genuine passion. It was a journey driven by extrinsic motivations rather than intrinsic desires.

When I finally left engineering, I didn’t have a plan. I was burned out and realized that I needed to step away and figure things out. It was a daunting prospect, yet, this uncertainty opened doors to exploration and self-discovery.

Transitioning from a mindset primarily driven by external rewards and pressures to one fueled by internal passion and purpose can be a daunting journey. When we’re accustomed to seeking validation or motivation from external sources, such as promotions, accolades, or societal expectations, the shift to intrinsic motivation can feel disorienting and even demotivating. It takes time to recalibrate our mindset, reevaluate our goals, and reconnect with what truly drives us from within. This period of transition is a crucial phase where patience, self-reflection, and self-compassion become essential. It’s a process of unlearning old habits, exploring new perspectives, and gradually aligning our actions with our intrinsic values and aspirations. While the initial stages may feel challenging and slow-paced, embracing this journey of self-discovery ultimately leads to a more authentic, fulfilling, and sustainable form of motivation.

Embracing Lagom: The Art of Moderation

Lagom offers a refreshing alternative to the hustle culture. It invites us to step back, reassess our priorities, and embrace a more balanced approach to life. At the heart of lagom living is the concept of “just enough” — neither too much nor too little, but just right. This principle can be applied to various aspects of our lives, including work, relationships, and self-care.

Knowing When to Push Harder

While lagom encourages moderation, it doesn’t mean we should shy away from challenges or stop striving for improvement. Pushing ourselves outside our comfort zones is often necessary for personal growth and development. However, the key lies in knowing when and how much to push.

• Set Realistic Goals: Instead of chasing unattainable perfection, set realistic and achievable goals. Break larger tasks into manageable steps, allowing yourself to make steady progress without feeling overwhelmed.
• Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to your body’s signals. Pushing harder doesn’t mean ignoring signs of exhaustion or neglecting self-care. Take breaks when needed, prioritize sleep, and nourish your body with healthy food.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Cultivate a mindset of gratitude and self-appreciation, recognizing that every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.

Practicing Self-Compassion and Grace

Sometimes, giving ourselves grace is exactly what we need to foster intrinsic motivation. If we’re not willing to extend kindness and understanding to ourselves, we risk burning out and losing sight of our true passions. Self-compassion allows us to acknowledge our limitations, learn from failures, and cultivate a sense of purpose that comes from within.

• Release Perfectionism: Understand that perfection is an illusion. Embrace the beauty of imperfection and learn from mistakes without harsh self-judgment.
• Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it’s taking a leisurely walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in a hobby you love, make time for activities that replenish your energy.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

Never Giving Up on Your Vision

What truly matters is never giving up on our vision. Even when faced with challenges and setbacks, it’s important to persevere and stay committed to our goals. Small, consistent efforts each day can lead to significant progress over time. It’s better to take steady steps forward than to risk burning out in the beginning and giving up altogether.

Finding Your Lagom Balance

In essence, navigating the delicate balance between pushing harder and giving ourselves grace is not just a skill but a transformative journey. My own experience transitioning from an externally driven career to one guided by intrinsic motivation reflects the challenges and rewards of embracing lagom living. It’s a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and authenticity. Remember, it’s not about perfection or constant productivity but about finding joy and fulfillment in the journey.

By setting realistic goals, listening to our bodies, celebrating progress, and never giving up on our vision, we create a harmonious and fulfilling existence. Lagom living is not a destination but a way of life—a continuous journey toward balance, contentment, and self-discovery.